Is it money? Time? A successful career? A big home? The dream job?
If you saw where this was going, you already know that it's none of the above. The number 1 predictor of happiness is the quality of our connections and relationships. This is what I call, your "choir." Our relationships and connections are our choir. These are the people that pick us up when we are down, no matter what. Choirs are ever changing, and grow and develop as we do. Your choir doesn't have to be big. You just need ONE good friend, ONE good person who's got your back and who loves and supports you no matter what.
We need people in our lives that sing our praises for the times when we don't sing our own. I certainly learned this lesson the other week when I wrote my blog post about "throwing in the towel." I felt truly alone. I felt like I had no choir. I wasn't even in my own choir. But out of the woodwork, came so many choir members to let me know that I was not alone, and to remind me of my purpose. To press on. There in lies my first mistake. I had stepped out of my own choir. I hadn't been singing my own praises. You must be in your own choir.
We all need a choir because WE is more powerful than ME. We are more powerful together than we are alone, and that's why having a choir, even if it's just ONE other person is so important.
If you've ever felt unhappy, it's time to work on building your choir. Don't get overwhelmed with adding people just to add numbers. Really truly think about who you want to add.
My rules for adding people into my choir:
Do you make the cut for your own choir? Having a choir is one of the most important things we need as humans for the sake of our happiness. We need social connection. It's why I believe so strongly in the power of retreats where we get the opportunity to create relationships and connections. It's why I believe in the power of WE, and that we are stronger together, than we are alone. It's why in the Trainer In Your Back Pocket, we are a tribe, rather than just individuals.
There's no denying that when we feel lonely, we simultaneously feel unhappy. Maybe your choir needs more practice. Or maybe you need to make cuts from or additions to your choir. Maybe you forgot to put yourself in your own choir. No matter what, if you want to find happiness, you've got to begin building your choir. We simply cannot do it all alone. It's why the "S" in our MEDS is essential. That Social connection is key indicator of happiness.
So, if you're an introvert like I am, and you find it intimidating to reach out to your choir, I hope you find comfort in knowing that your choir is always there for you, whether you reach out or not. Maybe a simple phone call, text, or hand written letter to let your choir members know that you appreciate them will not only help you feel happiness, but them too. I guarantee you'll feel happiness when you reach out and let your choir know how appreciative you are!
Feeling stuck? In need of a new choir to help you achieve your health and fitness goals? You're always invited to join the Trainer In Your Back Pocket tribe, where you'll have a group of supportive, like-minded individuals who are constantly striving to be stronger both on the inside and out. We also have powerful women-only well-weekend retreats each year, to connect, and grow our choirs. We got you!
Abby Malmstrom M.S., a.k.a. The Trainer In Your Back Pocket, is an exercise physiologist, certified personal trainer, group fitness instructor, wellness coach, and "real food" nutritionist. Her life as an active duty military spouse takes her all over the world, allowing her to influence, teach, and connect with folks in communities she never even dreamed of reaching. Life's an adventure, so join Abby for the ride! It's time to "Eat Well, Move Well, Think Well, Be Well."